Man in space

This week we have been learning to rework our writing to make our paragraphs interesting for our audience. We started by writing a creative sentence about this picture. As a class we will choose Nate's sentence because we liked it the best and wrote a paragraph each to follow the chosen sentence. Here is the beginning of my story that starts with Nate's sentence.
A spaceman bravely walks out into the icy milky way. The astronaut bravely walks into the milky way portal to save a bunch of people before they die inside the milky way portal the portal and he noticed something that the milky way portal took him to another planet but it was a weird planet “it is weird here here” said the astronaut When he got through the portal he was looking for the survivors he was tired so had to have a


rest… Later he was not tired so was searching to save the people he was searching no one appeared then he notice that he was going in a circle then he saw a door he was too scared to go inside.When he opened the door silently there was only 1 person. That person told him everyone else is on the moon there the astronaut
took the survivor to save the people they noticed that the milky way portal was closing the astronaut and the


survivor was jumping so they can make then they made “YES! we made it” said the survivor so both of them was bouncing all the way to his ship so they can save the people “3 2 1 lets go” said the astronaut when they launched on the moon the astronaut were searching for everybody they were still searching. The astronaut was hungry and grumpy because he was very tired so he went inside his ship so can have a long sleep he

asked the survivor if he can look for them then he said yes to the astronaut then the astronaut was happy and excited to sleep. 3 hours later the astronaut waked up and the survivor looked very tired then both of them was searching for minutes then they looked then they found them “yes we finally found them i can’t wait until i eat Mcdonalds” so the people followed the astronaut to his space ship the people was so happy that the astronaut saved them then the all made it back to earth the end.